Showing posts with label lol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lol. Show all posts

Monday, June 01, 2009

dining in the so called 7 star hotel punya restaurant...

i tell u wat... it is not easy to makan in a so-called 7 star hotel (actual is 5 star only)...
u must follow the Rulez Set by the management de....

below is a sample of booking confirmation for makan in the restaurant...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


From: Restaurants Reservation [mailto:pkm@neiloumei.com]
Sent: Friday, January 32, 2009 13:13 PM
To: Nei Lou Mei
Subject: Confirmation


Dear Mr. Nei Lou Mei,

Thank you for your kind request and the interest shown in the restaurants of Burg Ar Arap.

Further to your request we are delighted to confirm your restaurant reservation as follows:

Nei Hai Soohai Restaurant
located on the 28th floor
Friday, February 30, 2009
2 person(s), 10:00 hrs
Non Smoking only
Kindly be advised that we will be offering Brunch Buffet $$ 495.00 per person and there will be no a la carte service available.

Your confirmation number is PKM 8811967. Kindly mention your name or the confirmation number upon arrival at our welcome center to ensure a smooth access to the hotel. (tolong lah kasih kerjasama, no confirmation no. or booking, u r not allow to go in de... )

This reservation is being held on a guaranteed basis and will be kept as such unless cancelled 24 hours prior to arrival. In the event of a non-arrival in the restaurant or a cancellation being received on the same day, a charge of $$ 300 per person will be charged to your credit card. (i dun care u come or not, u must pay for it.. if u r not cancel the booking earlier..) However the payment is required on the same day in the restaurant either by cash or credit card.

Please note the following regulations in Nei Hai Soohai Restaurant:
  • The dress code in the restaurant is elegant. Gentlemen are requested to wear a shirt with collar, trousers (no jeans) and closed shoes (no trainers) or national dress. (how bout ladies?? naked is ok, but no jeans n trainers pls >.<)
  • Please be informed that the reservation for the above mentioned restaurant does not permit access to additional areas of the Hotel, such as other Restaurants, Spa and guests floors. (toilet also not allow to go, pls bring ur own bottle to standby.. just in case…)
  • Kindly note that photography is allowed in the restaurant, however limited upon managers discretion. Refrain from video recording. (is this cinema ??? or restaurant?? =.=''')
  • Requests for a window table will be noted, however, tables at the window will not be confirmed, but provided subject to availability. (c my moOd lar n c how u looks like, i takut nanti those bird falling down when c ur face... if u r too ugly, no windows seat is allow..)
  • Use of mobile phones in our restaurants is restricted; please switch your phones to silent mode while dining. (i really think this is a cinema~)
  • Due to the high demand of the restaurant we will be holding your booking for a period of 30 minutes from the reservation time onwards. (ok, i'm ok wif this)
  • Please note that there will be no alcohol service before 12.00hrs in the restaurant. (reasonable)
  • According to law in Tupai, children below 21yrs old are not permitted in the bar. (no doubt for tat)
  • Children are welcome for brunch. Children above the age of 7 years are welcome for lunch. Moreover, for dinner children below 12 years are welcome to dine in the restaurant from 19.00 hrs to 20.30 hrs.
  • Children from 0-3 years of age dine free of charge in all the F&B Outlets; 4-11 years of age will be given 50% discount on buffets, a la carte menu and set menus. However there will be no discount on kids menu and beverages. Any children above 12 years of age will be charged full rate. (fair enough)
  • Kindly bring this confirmation letter along with you to ensure smooth access to the hotel and restaurant. (management : u idiot~~!!! no confirmation letter, u r not allow to go in, u MUST BOOK 1st, pls follow the rulez…)

Enhance your lunch or dinner experience at Burg Ar Arap by arriving in style with one of our white Rolls Royce. Should you wish to book or have more information please contact the transportation department on 08 6769 11967 or email pkm@neiloumei.com (Subject to availability) (normally u can get the car easily de lar.. even we say it is subject to availability.. u noe wat? Our guest normally come wif helicopter der… Rolls Royce is too cheap… the local ppl punya punggung tak boleh tahan kereta yg manyak cheap…)

We are looking forward to welcoming you and your guests to Burg Ar Arap and should you have any queries or require further information or assistance please do not hesitate to contact us immediately.

Join us, the Zhok Shui Yu and Rewards Program. From indulgent room upgrades to spa treatments or dinners for two, a host of Awards await when you join us. If you are not a member yet, register online at pkm@neiloumei.com/NeiHaiSeiSooohai.


Yours sincerely,

Zhok Nei Shui Yu

Sales Agent
Restaurant Reservations Department
Burg Ar Arap
Tupai United Arap Emerates
mailto: pkm@neiloumei.com
Tel: +967 8 467 9967
Fax: +967 8 469 9969
Visit us at http://www.ZhukNeiShuiYu.com

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

i found som 'small change' againz....

i found another 450 Dirham in an 'abandon jacket"....

fark~~!!!

i think i'm a rich man now..
simply cari / dig also able to find few hundred or thousand in those clothes....

=.='''

Sunday, April 12, 2009

neither rich man nor sohai…

…….

I found out there r thousand plus Dirham “small change” inside my jean which I throw inside my luggage 1 month ago…
no 1der i macam manyak wang sudah hilang lar…
=.=’’’

tat day I check my drawer..
AED 400++ coins inside the drawer…
dun doubt bout tat.. ALL COINS~~~!!!

Shit.. how am I going to spend it??
fark man….

zZzZzzz….

Thursday, February 26, 2009

i found something funny from my email n just to share with u all…

funny maths~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What are the differences between donkey and human~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

we all Donkeys~~~!!!!!

lolz~~~

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

"东"遊記 之 ~中东QS版

改編中东QS版

曾經有一份中东的QS工摆在我面前,
但系我无申请到它,
直到失去既時候先至後悔莫及,
塵世間最痛苦既事莫過於此,
如果上天能够再卑我一次機會的話,
我會對呢份工讲"我黎做",
如果非要在這份工加上一个expected salary既话,
我希望是~月薪 "100千"~~~!!!

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Driver jailed for death of passenger~~

Hrmmm....
a driver has been jailed and fined for killing a passenger and injuring 6 others when his car overturned as the result of a burst tyre @ Du-Bye..
this sohai driver lost control of the steering wheel and the vehicle langgar to sand dune before it overturned and landed upside down..

the Traffic Court found this 24 years old Pakistani driver responsible for the accident which occurred because he forgotten to check the tyre pressure...
the court only punished him to two months in jail, fined him Dhs 5k & then ordered him to pay Dhs 200k blood money* to the Indonesian woman's family.
Mean while, this farker’s driving licence was seized for three months ONLY...

Fark dap man...
Jail’inG for 2 months only..

U wont understand my feeling de lar..
Everyday...I sitting inside my teksi i also pray to GOD de...
I really takut m*ti coz all this farkers memang sial de..
Every 1 (who have been in "AAE") also knows how those locals + Pakistani drive their farking vehicle~~!!!
It just like driving on their father’s roads~~~!!
2 words able to describe it~~
is “GANAS + GANASAI”~~!!!

Usually there are farking lots accidents everyday and usually the locals or Pakistani are involved~~!!

Langgar n caused ppl mati baru denda Dhs 200k only~~
If u r rich enough...
Langgar mati org as much as u can..
Baru Dhs 200k for 1 life...
life is so farking chEAp ~~~!!!

Lolz~~


* Blood money – when u langgar seseorang sampai dia mati, u gonna compensate his/her family an amount of Dhs 200k~~

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

hAM news : Abi Dhabi experiences slight rain

Unseasonal rain in Abi Dhabi

hAM News Report (Reported By hAM)
Published: May 06, 2008, 08:45 (GMT+ 04.00)Abi Dhabi, AAE

Abi Dhabi: Residents of Abi Dhabi were left pleasantly surprised on Tuesday morning as slight rainfall graced the skies.

At close to 7:15am on Tuesday morning, the partially cloudy skies gave way to slight rainfall, which soon cleared.

Strong winds and unseasonal heavy rains were also seen in Abi Dhabi on Monday night.

This unusual change in temperature comes soon after steady rise in temperature swept the nation over the past few weeks.

May is typically the beginning of AAE’s scorching summer, as temperatures soar and humidity rises.



~~~~End~~~~

It is so uncommon + unusual + rare raining in May de ler…
This is so miracle~~
Hahaha, I’m so lucky…
Can experience raining in AAE~~

aiks~~ dun tell me armageddon is "coming" soon~~~

=p

Friday, July 13, 2007

Poem~~!!?? thruth~~~!!??

Know’ing the luv is NOTHING~~
Awareness of the luv is SOMETHING~~
make’ing the luv is EVERYTHING~~~

~~Anonymous~~



Mr X :
usually, normally, generally, majority, commonly~~
the guys will agree bout the above statement~~
this is the fact~~ guys alwyz think wif their 'bottom part' ~~ =p

Thursday, June 28, 2007

thieves ~~~!!??

Early of the morning~~
We reach our office~~~

n OMG~~~~!!!!
Wat’s going on to our department~~~!!???
Visited by the thieves~~!!??



Were is all the computers, tables & chair ~~~!!??
OMG~~ partition pun sudah hilang~~~
This thieves damn ganas lar..



Wah wah wah~~All the things are gone….



Wah~~ u c the ceiling board ~~!!??
The 1 my colleague pointing it~~!!??
My colleague Kong suspect the thieves come in thru the roof there…


Hrmmm….
his suspect on tat is consider reasonable also wat…
But~~ wait~~~!!!
our department @ 1st floor ler..
Atas masih ada 2nd floor ler..
Noway the kakilang(org sendiri) stole the things mer~~!!??
=.='''

hrmmm~~~
btw~~~ how the thieves move all these “properties” frm the office~~!!??
They got doraemon’s “magic pocket”~~~!???
So ganas lar…
We got so many security guards+ CCTV around lar..

Hrmm… so weird/ministry~~~~


Muahahaha~~
It's just a jok~~my office is under renovation recently…
This is becoz the RBH big family coming to join us soon…
The current partition layout couldn’t fit the huge numbers of staffs…
So, got to renovate then re-partition lar…

Lolz~~ my boss planning to renovate it partly…
(becoz the contracts depmnt stil ned to go on~~ y dun just let us vacation lar~~~?? )
=.=’’’
so, the worker demolish 1 part of my office n make som changes there~~

hrmm… hope + pray + wish I can sit back my original seats later…
tat seat really damn good feng shui 1~~~~
boss arr bosss~~~


pls~~~let me choose my seat~~~~~~!!!






Friday, April 27, 2007

pooR fella~~ bad luck fella~~ "shui hai"~~~

errmmm~~~

do u guys believe tat som times som1 will bring the bad luck to others ppl~~!!??

satu org boleh make the ship/boat kelam 1~~

last time i used to refer to 1 "shui hai" when i gamble in world cup...
guess wat... i alwys win...
win 8 matches out of 10~~~
1 draw + 1 lose only~~~

lolz~~ tat's y..
as wat i alwyz say.....
dun follow the ONG fella~~
1st.. u gonna find the "shui hai" out 1st....
then "bet" the opposite~~

go genting punya 1st mission is find the most bad luck fella out 1st..
then bet against him/her~~~

lolz~~~
guess wat...
i found another "shui hai" now~~~
MAX is the 1~~~

it sudden remind me somthing~~
do u believe tat ada org boleh jatuh his HP to toilet bowl when he bang sai~~!!??
hahaha~~~ he is the 1.....
wat for u bang sai also wanna answer the call...?

big biz arrr~~!!???
big customer calling~~!!??
aiyo~~~ finish/done ur "biz" in toilet 1st lar.......
call can answer later 1...
call tat fella back later lar....
o u wanna save the credit~~!?!?
i tot u using post-paid~~!!??
u r bosS lar....
dun so kiang siaP lar~~~

OH SHI is more important lar~~~



P/s: Max, i purposely write this 1... to promote u~~!! u becom famous lar~~~ =p

也许~~~衰开有条路~~~~!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

男女吵架协议 ~~

~~~copy frm forum~~~

(应该是女的杰作吧) >.<



男女吵架协议

1,吵架不当着父母,亲戚,邻居的面吵,在公共场所给对方面子。

2,不管谁对谁错,只要一吵架,男方必须先轻声轻气哄女方一次,女方才能马上冷静下来,否则女方一看到男方哇啦哇啦女方也忍不住哇啦哇啦,一旦造成严重后果,全部由男方负责。

3,在家里吵架不准一走了之,实在要走不得走出小区,不许不带手机和关机。

4,尊敬对方的父母长辈,吵架不开心不能对父母无礼。

5,有错一方要主动道歉,无错一方在有错方道歉并补偿后要尽快原谅对方。

6,双方都有错时要互相检讨,认识到错误并道歉后由男方主动提出带女方出去散心。

7,要出气不准砸东西,只能吃东西,实在手痒只能砸枕头。

8,吵架尽量不隔夜,晚上困觉觉时男方必须主动抱女方,女方生气百般推让男方也不能就此放弃,一定要哄到女方睡着,做上美梦。。。

9,每周都要给对方按摩一次,因为大家经常吵架都很辛苦,男方手艺不好的话可以跟盲人师傅学,严禁和发廊女学!

10,吵架时男方不准挂电话,如果挂了要马上打回去,并表示歉意,吵架时女方如果挂了电话,男方必须在1分钟内打给女方,电话不通打手机,总之不能气绥,屡挂屡打,但是女方也要给男方面子,每次挂电话次数不多于5次。


(公约条款暂时为以上这几条,可由女方无理由无时间限制的更改,男方有权利提出异议,但是异议是否被采纳最终解释权在女方手里。)





男方签名:YYY              女方签名:XXX  

时间:Y年Y月Y日             时间:Y年Y月Y日

Monday, April 23, 2007

今期经典金句~~

TMD~~
日日新鲜~~事事奇~~~

今期的经典 ~~


“我发觉我越来越爱她左~~!!”

fuyoh~~~~
有时偶都好佩服阿 SK 哥的~~
越中箭越勇敢~~



Tuesday, April 17, 2007

claim~~~





Our Ref. No. : 3-1-7M’s/Claim 1

Date: 16th April 2007



Attn : Mr. Chad Chen Seong Wai

Dear Sir,


The bird day celebration for ah yEE
With reference to the above project, we are pleased to submit our progress claim attached for your kind perusal.

TOTAL FOR THIS CLAIM = RM 66,800.00

Total amount of this claim is Ringgit (RM): sixty six thousand and eight hundred only.


Your early certification of the above is much appreciated.

Thank you.




Yours faithfully,
3-1-7 Consult Sdn Bhd




________________
Nick Chong
Managing Director

Saturday, March 31, 2007

1 (one) tonne sohaiz & 1 (one) tonne ah keap~~~

一噸 sohaiz 有几重~~~!!??
一噸阿 keap又有几重咧~~!!??

一样重~~~!!??

糸埋因为 keap = sohaiz~~!!??
哽系唔系啦~~~

你都傻既~~~
都同你讲左系一噸喽~~~
一噸 sohaiz 同 一噸阿 keap 咯~~!!!!

当然一样重~~~ 并唔关 keap 系唔系 sohaiz 既事~~~~

lolz~~~







How heavy is one tonne sohaiz~~~!!??
N how heavy is one tonne ah keap~~~!!???

R they equalize~~!!??

Sohai = keap~~~~!!??

is tat true~~~!!???
So~~~
One tonne sohaiz = one tonne ah keap~~!!???

aiks~~~ u c2piD 1~~~

already told u tat one tonne punya sohaiz & one tonne punya ah keap lor..
sure equalize lar..
both also one tonne wat~~~
tak ada related to keap is sohaiz o not 1~~~
tat 1 is dif issue aredi~~~

lolz~~~

>.<

Friday, February 16, 2007

theory bouT learNing~~

The moRe you leArn...
thE mOre you knOw...
The more you knoW...
the moRe yOu forget....
The more You foRget...
the lesS yoU kNow....
So~~~ whY bothEr to learn......!!!???

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

contoh-contoh of resignation letter

muahahaha~~~
my fren send me this sample of resignation letter after read my bLog...
let's hav a look...
=p



option 1 : Informal



option 2 : Semi-formal



option 3 : Formal but a bit nonsense



option 4 : Scarily form (mayb consider as threaten) ><

Friday, January 26, 2007

Money is not everything~~

Money is not everything~~~~

Tat's y we neEd Mastercard & Visa~~~~!!!

Monday, January 22, 2007

"做工打油诗" working poem~~~

公司只有老姑姑~
再不然就老叔叔~
没有美女好相处~
也没帅哥好诉苦~~

为何我就这么苦~
每月薪水没得数~
银行存款就快枯~
试问还有哪里有出路~~~ 有出路~~~!!???

Saturday, January 20, 2007

哈~~~尴尬事件~~~

嘿嘿嘿~~~ 这应该是 unexpected event 来的~~
不过为什么偶没用英文写呢~~~
有原因的~~~
因为偶的同事们都不会看华文~~~
哈哈哈~~~

偶突然记起来了。。。。
话说那天。。。。 偶去site visit~~~
同行的有5个人(包括偶)~~
4男1 女。。。。
偶坐后面的中间。。。。。
左右坐着男女。。。。
在路程上。。。。。
咱们的“司机”大哥并不熟悉驾 auto + kembara。。。。。。
为了避开一辆车。。。。而来了一个紧急转弯。。。。。
OMG~~~飞来艳福~~~
哈哈哈~~那女的整个人扑到了偶的身上。。。。。。
哇唠野~~~ 她尴尬到。。。。。。。。。。
哈哈哈~~
偶到现在才记起来。。。。。

no wonder 这几天她看到偶都有点脸红啦~~~
偶还在奇怪着呢。。。。。。。

hahaha~~~

><

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Tender submitted~~~!!!!!

Tender submitted…
n X’mas coming~~~

Haihz~~~
Wat am I doIng now~~!??
farking boring~~~!!

now i start thinking....
Imagine 'ing~~~~~~~


I wish I got 5 million~~~
If I goT 5 million…

I’ll burn 1 million infront of keap’s house~~~(wah, sure hav to ask fireman to pull out the fire if I use 1 million of satU ringgit~~~)

I’ll throw 1 million into the seA~~~ (wah, the sea looks red if I using 10 ringgit~~~reD sea~~coOL~~)

I’ll tukar another 1 million into 50 ringgit then roll them in 100 pieces per roll (20,000 rolls) n throw to ah foOk~~ let the money press on hIm … mati lar u~~~ muahahaha~~~

Wat will I do bout the remaining 2 million~~!!??
Aiks~~ some times too rich also very mafan~~~
Duno how to spend the monEY~~(sound like I really got 5 million)
Muahahahaha~~~
><

Haihz…
Boring ~~~~
This me~~~ hAM~~~
When i nothing to dO~~ I am siAL 1~~~lolz~~~